Lately I’ve been searching. Searching within, searching God, searching life and wondering…what it is that persistently nags at me. The thing that keeps me feeling complacent…the thing that makes me feel “stuck”. I’ve learned that it’s not one thing, but it’s a combination of things that leave me to feel this way. So I’ll share them, incase I’m not alone.
There are many days where I rush through a day. Busy with work, busy with kids, busy with dinner and mom stuff and wife stuff. There are days where I would just like to lie in bed all day and sleep, or watch Netflix or eat an entire cake by myself. To just be alone. Which made me start thinking, what about my days are really so bad? Do I like my work? Yes. Do I like the duties of mom stuff? Yes. Do I enjoy the duties of wife stuff? Yes. I have a servants heart and I LOVE to do for my family and my husband. They are the most precious people to me on this side of heaven. So what is it then? What makes me want to hide under the covers for three days straight? And then it dawned on me. My brain is in OVERDRIVE. I am so consumed about what will happen tomorrow that I am trying so desperately to rush through today. To get through it, just get the day over with so I can tackle tomorrow. All the while I’m missing the blessings of today. EACH day in itself has treasures just waiting to be unwrapped. It’s takes a conscious effort sometimes to slow down and focus our attention to our day to day duties one task at a time. For me, I’ve learned that social media, while it has its perks, has been a huge distraction. While I do enjoy seeing family online, I’ve found that checking FaceBook or Instagram 10 times a day was becoming a normal habit for me. Not because there was something I wanted to see but because in the 10 seconds I had a moment between my mom stuff and wife stuff I found myself staring at a little glowing box. So what I’ve done over the past week or two is made an effort not to have as many distractions. This for me also includes the television. I’ve learned to use my time more wisely. I’ve decided that I needed to unplug and reboot.
I read a book recently that told the story of a girl named Ruth. She is one of my favorite bible characters. Ruth lost her husband and devoted her life to serving her mother in law. She left her family and went to her mother in law’s land and chose to honor her duties to her husband in doing so. Ruth gave up quite a bit. A family, provisions for her life, etc.. but Ruth remained obedient. One thing I learned about Ruth was she was HAPPY to work. She worked in the fields for scraps. She worked her fingers to the bones but didn’t complain. She was grateful. Oh how I long to be like Ruth. To enter into each part of my day with a spirit of humility and the heart of a servant.
Today we make a choice. To live in the present moment, taking in all each moment has to offer, or to worry about tomorrow. I want to soak up each part of my day. To hear how my kids day at school went, to blow bubbles with them outside, tend to our garden, to meditate on God’s word. I want to be the mom that makes memories with them. I want to be the wife that makes my husband proud to call his own. I want to be like Ruth, singing in the fields, praising God for my many blessings. I want to be the child of the Most High God that will hear, well done my good and faithful servant. I want to be all He has designed me to be.
Luke 12:29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink. Do not worry about it.
Let’s worry about today. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Enjoy your kids today. Enjoy your spouse. Read the word of God. Take a walk in nature. Marvel at all the beautiful things God has done in your life!
Lots of Love,