I don’t fit in

Ever get that feeling in life that you don’t know where you belong?  You don’t really fit with the dinner party, cocktail hour kind of people.  You don’t really fit with the tailgating football kind of people.  You don’t fit in here, you don’t fit in there….  Ya, that’s me… not fitting in.  Do I have friends? Sure I do.  Do I have wonderful family?  The best a girl could hope for… but still something tells me I don’t fit.  I sat in church this morning and before service started I got a wave of overwhelming grief pass over me.  As I sat there, with my sweet little family and I sat amongst all my friends and family I was grieved.  I was grieved for people everywhere that DO fit in.  The ones who make it life’s purpose to do so.  The ones who strive to make other people happy and put aside what makes God happy.  Have I done it before?  I’m sure more times than I can count.  Everyone wants to feel accepted.  Everyone wants to feel loved.  But at what cost?  At what cost are millions out there willing to pay to just fit in?

This is what comes to mind when I was meditating on all of this:

2 Cor 6:17  Therefore, “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

So for me, I’ve made a decision, and with God’s help, I shall no longer try to mold or fit where I don’t belong.  I’m depending on God to take me to higher places, to touch new things and put aside the things, thoughts and desires of this world.  My goal is heaven.  I’m striving to make it home.  This world is a scary place.  It’s a place where we weren’t designed to just fit in.



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